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My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz
I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Biosfet hospital, located in Long Island, NY
I am 6 foot, four I weigh 2-0-0 pounds
I have brown hair and green eyes
I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food
I have two brothers, Chris and Graham
and two parents, Paul and Jameija
In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy..

This was originally not for public consumption
This was made for four people... four people that literally saved my life
They know who they are..
And ahhh I mean I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them
I don t think this song would pay them
But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further..

This ain t a burner for the whips (no it isn t)
This ain t even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn t)
My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York
Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK
In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone, scaffolding imploded
I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling
to the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips
for cigarettes and soda, shook me to casper
Dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser
Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangements
Rose rapidly out a bog I d never fished in
that abates three separate foreign meds
While I use the hook line and sinker simple fishing
Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body
but the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi
So now it s one fish belly up, through medicated mileage
Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence
And, I d be lying if I said all of this
made even the slightest fragment of sense to me
That s real... Simply put
I don t know what happened, or what s still happening
I literally feel like I m teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity
JAIME, I killed the robots and I m sorry
Broke down in front of you, embarrassed
but you lent a heart and hand that only you could
you re one of my best friends and yes I d take that bullet for you
That s my word, which is about all I have left
TONY, I know you know I m crazy, cause you told me
but that did never bother you, I hold you as my brother til death
And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step
for makin a cat laugh, when I was walking with the dead
KATHERINE, mother figure, older sister, concerned beyond limits
Letting me know I wasn t the only one with this
Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits
Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons
RIYAH, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed
An you knew it, but I just wouldn t admit it
You listened to me blab about my issues for hours
Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished
Am I a jack of all trades? Nope... I like to write songs tho
Are they good? I dunno..
But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it
So take this how you want, but know I mean it
I want you all to know that I m scared
Out my fuckin crooked soul and never faced a monster like the last few months
ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can t)
But the pieces won t formulate it to anything even close to cohesive
So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you
Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness
I owe you all my life and please don t argue with that statement
Cause without y all I may not have a life to offer, take it

Thank you
I wish I could explain this better. (Thank you)
I m sorry for burdening your pleasures. (Thank you)
I love you all with all that s left of me. (Thank you)
For helping try to kill what made a mess of me. (Thank you)
Somehow, someway. (Thank you)
I ma get you back someday. (Thank you)
Just gotta figure this all out... So..

I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back
How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures
Other men operate normally under
I have soaked this out from all angles, walking through time
I have been over everything in my head, still I can t think anymore
But I guess some times, when you can t breathe, there are people there
to breathe for you
I am lucky enough to have those people around me
Thank you for helping me to not die
Thank you for helping me to not die

Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt
Cockpit full of memories and a dream full of guilt

I got an urge to tell a story
Mad house set to unload
I try my best to keep a distance
From going down loony road

But I get crushed with the temptation
For the place that makes you move-to the groove
Right...

Hell is still overburdened
I must stand and wait in line
I may never know for certain when will be my time
How was I considered evil?
Vengeance taken in this life
Someone granted me
We re evil decades spent in ..

Led to nothing
Repeat it in mind

Dreams

Now here you go again,
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It s only right that you should play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat...

Hittin curves

Deadlocked in the zone, we prone to dip into the unknown
Quick to flip if one trip, first we break bread, then break
heads
Look at all the people runnin in fear, scared
Unwilling to hear what s said, hide under the shed
We lyin in the filth, grown men layin in...

Second chance

I found the phone
I must ve missed your message
You got it wrong, It wasn t what your friend said.
Tell by your tone, I ve taken it too far again.
(Just when I thought I d gone and fixed it all again.)
Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on.
(Just when I...